Want it badly enough
by bonesmad
Summary: After trying to comfort his daughter Castle realised something... post headhunters


_this is what i like to think happened after Castle's little realisation with Alexis. _

_I don't own Castle unfortunately. :(_

He hammered on the door with his fist as hard as he could.

"Kate open up!" he said "Kate open the door." she pulled it open with a frown on her face.

"Castle wha…" she started but he pushed the door open fully and stormed in past her. she almost reeled back in shock. "What are you doing" she almost shouted at him. He spun on his heel

"I know." He said stepping back towards her. "I know you lied to me. I know that you remember everything from the day you were shot! I heard you talking to the kid." He said and she could see the anger in his eyes. "I tried to get over this betrayal. Tried to pretend you didn't break my heart Kate. And alright I may have tried to spite you but you broke me. I told you how I feel. I was honest but you. You lied to me!"

"Cas…"

"No we've been running around and around this for years! I have been in love with you for years! And you've known for seven months. Seven months you have left me waiting for you. And I decided I was done waiting. Done giving you time." He had stopped shouting. All that was left in his voice now was hurt. "Done thinking maybe you felt the same. That you weren't just playing me along." She felt a tear prick her eye. He was stepping ever closer to her. he could feel his blood boiling as he finally told her exactly how he felt. "I let you in. I changed for you. I may not have realised it at the time but by god I did the past week."

"Rick I did…" again he interrupted.

"And I don't care if you don't feel the same. You know how I feel. I adore you, you are the most powerful, breathtaking woman I have ever met and I can't stop thinking about you. Every day I wake up praying for you to call. And you knew, all this time you left me hanging on like a puppy thinking you didn't know how I felt. Did you like the attention or something. Did you like stringing me along knowing it was torturing me…" he paused.

"No Ric…" she started again but he didn't give her time.

"I wanted to hurt you back. I wanted you to feel the exquisite pain that I did." He stepped forward and finally pinned her to the door. "But then I thought about it and I want this badly enough to get over being hurt. All I need to know is if you feel anything. If you lied because you weren't ready or because you didn't want to hurt me." Her breath hitched, her stomach was tied in knots. What was she supposed to say. Her lips parted, though she didn't make a sound. A rosy flush washed over her cheeks and her eyes darkened. He'd caught her off guard when he suddenly softened, after shouting at her for so long. Was this the moment she had been waiting for, looking for before he'd showed up with that air hostess. She was only realising now why he'd been so mad at her, so unlike himself. "Well…" he whispered, his breath brushing against her face.

"I…" she could barely speak her heart was pounding. "I couldn't tell you. I was so afraid…" she whispered back.

"Of what."

"…losing you."

Then he kissed her. there was nothing tentative or hesitant about this kiss. His lips covered hers staking their claim, sending a rush of feelings through her. he kissed the way he lived, with full force and nothing held back. His tongue teased her, sending molten currents through every limb. One hand caressed her shoulder, gently kneading, while the other braced against the door. she was caught between the cold wood and the hard heat of his body yet she could think of no place she would rather be at the moment. She was breathless and light-headed-and very aroused-when he finally broke away. The devilish light in his eyes made her legs even more wobbly. It took her a good five minutes to manage to create words.

"I am so sorry Castle. I should have told you."

"It doesn't matter now Kate. Nothing else matters." He leaned his forehead against hers. She laughed lightly.

"always the writer."


End file.
